Pressure can either burst a pipe or create a diamond.
– Tony Dorsett
Whenever you´re out of the comfort zona, pressure pulls itself upon you no matter what. Usually, the body starts to freeze, your palms get sweaty, you might feel a burning feeling in your chest, and all kinds of bad possible scenarios fly around in your head. Am I right? Perhaps this happened before an important interview or exam, a presentation, a crucial match in a competition or even when you approached to talk to the person you´re intimidated by. This feeling is usually known as the fight-or-flight response which for most of the times, it provokes “performance chocking” if it isn´t coped with and used to our advantage.
So what is happening?
A stressful event triggers a flow of hormones, including adrenaline and cortisol. These “butterflies” can prepare you for action, but can also speed up your breathing and heartbeat, forming a surge through your body that is difficult to calm down. Usually chocking happens when a challenging situation threatens your ego. This is being created by having fear of failure and thus worrying about looking bad if things go wrong. So basically, chocking is a result of your ego fearing your reputation to get harmed and people to underappreciate you.
Now, how do we deal with this? in order to make friends with anxiety and use it to our advantage, we must not only have certain strategies prepared in advance but also practice imagery and breathing on a daily basis. It´s not easy and it doesn´t take a few seconds to deal with this. It´s deeply wired in our brains as a result of past experiences and it requires a change in your belief systems and personality.
Nevertheless, let´s keep it simple at first. Here are some tips on how to prepare and deal with it once it arises.
1. Stay in the moment
Whenever facing a challenge, we whether start recalling past failures or future consequences. This doesn´t allow us to focus on the task at hand and perform at our best. Try to be aware of what you can control now instead, there´s nothing you can do about the past or about what might happen in the future. The best way to bring back your attention when it wanders off is to focus on the sensations in your body such as your breath, the feeling of gravity, or the contact of your feet with the ground. Get curious, notice the way you feel, maybe your muscles are too tense or maybe your breath is too shallow. Once you´re aware of these, you´re already in the present, ready to excel and focus on the task at hand. Above all, decide to be the best that you can be right now, regardless of what happened or what’s going to happen. Focus on the process but not the outcome.
2. Let go of expectations
When the pressure arises, our insecurities and inner demons come up above the surface. For instance, you might worry about what your mom or colleagues expect of you and what will they think of you if you will screw up. This means that you prioritize others´ opinions above everything else and this adds up some extra pressure! You can´t really control what people will think of you. They always talk and will never stop! The only thing you can do is decide what you actually give a f*ck about. Is it more important to you how others see you or do you care more about how you actually see yourself? Eliminating some of these insecurities lighten you up and give you an underlining feeling of calm and clarity.
But more importantly, letting go of any expectations whatsoever allows you to stay calm and powerful when everything is uncertain. By having high expectations, you might put too much responsibility on yourself and feel worried about not reaching them. Meanwhile, low expectations make you feel week and unmotivated because you consider yourself inferior and don’t actually believe in your ability to succeed. Therefore, letting go of expectations and “how you should be” is the best option. When you don´t know what´s gonna happen and you are okay with it, you reach this state of serenity and calm which allows you to focus on problem-solving but not fearing an unfulfilled potential.
3. Focus on what you can control
Whenever you´re facing a challenge, make an imaginary list of the things you can control and a list of things that are out of your hands. For instance, you can´t control the weather, what your mom will think of you, the environment or circumstances you´re in or whatever messed up situations or childhood you´ve been through. Therefore, what has already happened and what will happen is not in your control. Regretting is meaningless and energy consuming as going back is not an option. However, accepting the uncontrollables gives you the chance to focus on what you can actually do in the respective situation and gather everything you´ve got to achieve the desired outcome.
4. Breathe
Sometimes when we are so involved in imagining and predicting negative scenarios, we forget to actually breathe and therefore the anxiety amplifies. Once the breath comes back to normal, the muscles, the brain, can get reanimated and receive the vital oxygen again which makes anxiety evaporate, leading to a calm and focused mental and physical state. Learn to concentrate and use focused breathing or even meditation if you´d like when the heat is on.
“In pressure situations, make sure to let the air reach into the very bottom of your lungs, filling every corner of your body with life-giving, life-enhancing oxygen. Then as you release the breath, release any tension and anxiety along with it. Suppleness returns, bringing renewed confidence with it. Feel the relaxation as you exhale and bring anxiety under control. Notice the feeling of release and lightness. This will help reduce the pressure and keep you grounded in the present.
5. Believe in your resilience
Sometimes when people experience an overwhelming situation and they feel unprepared and insecure, they tend to use affirmations or positive thinking. However, that´s meaningless if they don´t actually believe in what they think. The reason why these are ineffective is that the conscious mind might indeed wish to stay calm and optimistic whilst the body has been programmed to feel otherwise for years. For that reason, the mind and body aren´t working together. Instead, in order to gain balance between those, you must release the chemicals related to that emotion. To do so, the best option is to use imagery. Recall the times in which despite the pressure you managed to pull through and succeed. Make an imaginary list of all the successes and achievements you’re proud of so that you can recollect one of those whenever in need. There always has to be something, regardless of whether it´s big or small. Recall to the way you felt, the thought pattern and emotions you´ve had and always remember that if you´ve done it before, you can do it again.
However, if you haven´t done it before, you can do it now! Ask yourself about the message this anxiety brings. Emotions bring a message no matter whether they are negative or positive. Get curious and find out; What does it tell about you and how can you use it in a positive way?
Finally, only when the chaos kicks in, our true self is revealed. Pound the rock every day by embracing adversity and learning from it. Pressure is our friend and is found only outside our comfort zona where is the only place we can grow. Be grateful for experiencing it; This means that you´re evolving. Apply these 5 methods to your daily routine and stay cool when the pressure appears. Remember to callous the mind whenever the autopilot takes over and make it consistent. Be clear about what your ego is afraid of and make an agreement with yourself to let it go. Remember to form your list with achievements that make you proud and worthy. More importantly, always try to keep it simple. Don’t overthink or plan too much. Stay certain in uncertain situations knowing that everything happens for a reason. Now you´re ready to make your butterflies fly in formation!
Pressure is a privilege. It’s what you do with it that matters.
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