“We are what we repeatedly do. Success is not an act, but a habit”
– Aristotle
We all have disempowering habits that sometimes stop us from achieving more. However, the difference between those who manage to succeed and those who keep on failing is self-awareness upon their lousy habits and tendencies. In other words, mentally strong people always strive to replace the habits which drag them down with those which pull them up. They are able to adjust their emotions, feelings, and behaviors in a way that corresponds to their standards. Therefore, it´s important to develop healthy habits, yet firstly we should identify the unhealthy ones. Here´s a list of disempowering habits mentally strong people avoid at any cost. Use this list to identify the tendencies you ought to adjust!
Wasting energy overthinking about things out of your control.
Some people have the tendency to overthink and complain about unfortunate events which are out of their control (f.ex missed the train, traffic jams, bad weather, etc.) You should rather try to focus on what you can control, which is mostly the way you respond to those events, your attitude and emotional control.
Spending time feeling sorry for yourself.
Shit happens. That´s just how life is. In this case, the easy but not efficient option is to drift into a spiral of despair and self-pity from which it´s barely possible to escape. Therefore, it´s significant to notice this drift as soon as possible and chose the other option- set new goals, get up, and fight again. Self-pity will never make things better, on the contrary, it will keep success further and further away from you.
“Feeling sorry for ourselves is the most useless waste of energy on the planet. It does absolutely no good. We can’t let our circumstances or what others do or don’t do control us. We can decide to be happy regardless.” – Joyce Meyer
Blaming circumstances or people for your own mood/feelings/achievements.
Mentally strong people take responsibility for their own actions, mood, and feelings. They don’t blame other people for making them angry or worried. Likewise, they don’t blame past experiences and traumas for their present capability to succeed. Blaming is a weakness, don’t play this destructive game, it will not solve any problems but on the contrary! Instead, focus on what you can do now, ask yourself a better question and focus on solutions.
Avoiding change and discomfort
Don’t shy away from change. If you will not try, you’ll never know and thus remain constantly in the comfort zona where no progress ever happens. Change is often inevitable, so believe in your capacity to adapt and stay flexible. Make discomfort your best friend, and do something that sucks every day. In this way, growth and resilience are guaranteed.
Do the same mistakes over and over
If you will repeat the same tired methods, eventually you will get the same results by making the same mistakes. Don’t ignore the mistakes in any way! Use them to adjust and try a different approach. Don’t be the fly that hits the window repeatedly without looking for another way out. Sometimes, you just have to stop from hitting the window and notice that getting out is easier than you thought.
Envy other people’s achievements
Mentally strong people don’t resent other people’s success, instead, they celebrate it. They understand that it comes with a lot of effort and hard work and thus they’re willing to give it a try and put in the work. Above all, they acknowledge that they have their own path to success and that they shouldn’t distract themselves by comparing it to others’.
Give up when failing many times
Failure is not a reason to give up. Use it as an opportunity to learn and improve by constantly trying to identify what went wrong and what you can do about it. Like Samuel Becket said: “Ever tried. Ever failed. No matter. Try Again. Fail again. Fail better.”.
Let the events, feelings, and emotions control your approach
You should avoid at any cost constantly living on autopilot. Don’t let your feelings and emotions control you. Always identify when a certain emotion goes up the surface and decide to understand it and do something about it. Remember that you’re in charge of how you feel and how you perceive situations and experiences.
So, how many of these should you work on?
More importantly, it´s not about all the gaps we have, but what we do to fill them up. It´s about striving to improve our approach all the time and persisting to condition the new habits we’ve implemented in our systems. Finally, make the decision to break your bad habits and remember to stick to the new, powerful ones.
“Your beliefs become your thoughts,
Your thoughts become your words,
Your words become your actions,
Your actions become your habits,
Your habits become your values,
Your values become your destiny.”
―
I am learning to let go of everything that I can’t control and feeling sorry for myself. Instead, I train my mind to see the opportunity for to grow. When things happen, it is just so easy to play victim and blaming game but it can be overcome. A bit hard but little steps. It’s a delight reading your article today. =)
So true, you are 100% right, I understand what you are trying to say, but how to do this practically, I mean it’s so hard to break the prison made by our own mind